A Ray of Hope
by JediSue
Summary: A recent episode of Guiding Light inspired me to write this piece. With Reva’s cancer storyline front and center the story just sort of flowed, using several of my favorite characters from the past.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One 

"I can't believe we're coming back here." Roxy looked out the window of the plane as it made its final descent into Springfield.

Rusty wasn't paying attention. His eyes were locked on the woman sitting across the aisle from him. Her long blonde hair and blue eyes, combined with their present locale, made him think wistfully of his deceased wife, Rose. It had been a long time since she had invaded his thoughts and the memories were making him uncomfortable. The whole flight had given him a weird vibe and he felt like he was unable to shake the past.

Roxy touched her brother's arm. "What are you thinking about? There are a lot of old memories, aren't there?"

She would have to wait for her answer, as the plane they were traveling on had landed at the Springfield airport. The siblings gathered their luggage and headed to the waiting taxi.

"Rusty, do you think anyone will remember me?" Roxy nervously checked her makeup for the third time and ran her hand up and down the bottle of water she was carrying. "It's been such a long time."

Breaking out of his daydreams Rusty smiled at his sister. "Of course, honey. Reva and Josh will be thrilled to see you. And Hawk. This will be fine. You'll be fine."

She gave him an uncertain smile and felt a lump forming in her throat at the thought of seeing her sister and her father. It had been so long and things had changed so much. The one constant thing in her life was always her brother. Although she didn't remember it, he was there the day she was transferred from the hospital in Switzerland to be closer to home in Tulsa. And he was there the day she was finally healthy enough to be released.

While Roxy had been anxious to return to Springfield and see how things had changed, Rusty would have preferred for her to make a life for herself in Tulsa. He knew she was better now, but he still worried about her. They hadn't talked about it yet, but he could see the pain she carried knowing that she was never able to say goodbye to her mama.

It had been eighteen years since her breakdown, and Rusty knew how much could change in that time. It seemed like a lifetime ago, and in some ways it was. The last five years had been a roller coaster ride for Rusty. His sister's condition had improved drastically, but then she had suffered a setback that nearly destroyed him. He had lost his wife and his mother. He couldn't bear the thought of losing his sister.

And now, he was faced with the knowledge that his other sister was suffering and he feared what that would do to Roxy. He hated to think of her as fragile, but he was afraid of Roxy's reaction when she found out that Reva had cancer. The doctor's had told him that Roxy's treatment had been slow, but extremely successful. But he couldn't help but worry that memories of the past would collide with fear of the future.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two 

Hawk Shayne paced the floor at Company. He checked his watch, glanced up at the door, and checked his watch again. He couldn't believe that his Roxy was coming to see him. The memories of the last eighteen years flashed through his mind. The joys and sorrows were plentiful.

It had been nearly ten years since his beloved Sarah had been taken from him. He would never forget the way she looked on their wedding day. He chose to focus on that, instead of on her death. She wouldn't want him to remember her that way.

When he found out that Sarah had another child, it tore at him. He felt such tremendous guilt for abandoning his family so many years ago. He was so grateful for the second chance he been given. He had saved Roxy's life once and he had wished that he could do it again. While the family held out hope, nobody ever thought she would fully recover. The doctors in Tulsa however, had managed to work a miracle and the family would be reunited.

He hoped it wasn't too late. Roxy had been given a new lease on life. He only hoped that Reva would be as lucky.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three 

"Ready?"

Rusty shot an encouraging glance at Roxy as they approached Company. As they walked through the door, she was flooded with memories of days gone by. She remembered waiting tables here with Mindy Lewis. She thought of Rick Bauer and Kurt Corday. And Johnny. The pain stabbed her in the heart and she turned to walk back out into the hot August heat but was stopped by the sound of her father's voice.

"Roxanne!"

Weak in the knees, she stumbled into Hawk's arms, tears flowing freely. The patrons sitting around the tables at Company watched the father-daughter reunion with little interest. They didn't recognize the pretty brunette and weren't interested in the family drama.

"Darlin' you look wonderful," Hawk told his daughter. After shaking hands with Rusty, the three of them sat down at one of the tables and talked about what had brought them together.

Exchanging a glance with Hawk, Rusty put his hand on Roxy's arm. "We have something to tell you, Rox. It's Reva. She has cancer."

Rusty let the words sink in before speaking again. He tried reading the emotions that played on her face but all he saw was pain. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" she demanded.

He knew that his answer would only cause her to become angrier. He was worried that Reva's diagnosis would set her back. Roxy was confident that she was better. The doctors said so, and she felt amazing. But Rusty knew the reason behind her initial breakdown and it scared him. Hawk understood Rusty's reluctance and covered for him. "We just found out ourselves, sis. Reva didn't want anyone to worry. I just told Russell yesterday."

Pushing her chair back, Roxy walked over to the bar and sat down by herself. Her head in her hands, she closed her eyes and tried to block out the memories. In some ways, it seemed like yesterday. The lump on Johnny's neck. The cancer diagnosis. The praying and the unconventional treatment they chose. The rest was a blur. She doesn't remember what happened after that. Her only link to that time is what Rusty told her. He spent an awful lot of time piecing the past together for her while she was still recovering in Tulsa.

Cancer. She had hoped to never hear that word again. But now that she knew the truth about Reva, she felt stronger than she ever had. She would help her sister fight for her life and she knew that this time she would be ready for it.

Before leaving Tulsa, Rusty told her that Johnny had been in remission for years. He had given her a stack of letters Johnny had written to her. They were deep, touching words of love and hope. From the text of the letters, she knew that he had come to her side to be with her. He had stayed for several years, until her own family had convinced him to move on. She didn't blame them. Her diagnosis wasn't good and they came to love Johnny for his goodness and his loyalty to her.

She missed him and longed for the days when they were first together and so very happy. But she had other things to worry about right now. Reva needed her.


	4. Chapter 4

The threesome made their way to Reva's house and Hawk filled the pair in on the latest happenings in Springfield. Roxy was anxious to see Reva and also knew that at some point, she would meet her half-sister Cassie. She wasn't sure how she felt about that. Memories of her dear mama clouded her thoughts.

As they pulled into Reva's driveway they almost ran right into a dark-haired young man who stormed out of the house and took off down the road. Roxy looked to Hawk for a possible explanation and was surprised to find out that the young man was Jonathan, Reva's son. Hawk promised that he would explain to her later, but told Roxy that Jonathan knew about Reva's cancer and was trying to convince her to tell Josh.

"Josh doesn't know?" Roxy was stunned. She knew that he would be a wonderful support system to her sister and couldn't understand why she hadn't told him.

"She doesn't want to be a burden to anyone," Rusty explained. Roxy nodded, knowing how stubborn her sister could be. She knew that no matter how much had changed in the past eighteen years, Reva's temperament had stayed the same.

Hawk gave Roxy a quick hug before he pushed open the door. "Is she expecting us?" Roxy asked.

"Nope," Hawk smiled. "We wanted her to be surprised. She knows that you're on your own now, but doesn't know that either of you were comin' to town."

At that moment, Reva walked into the living room and as she recognized the faces standing by her front door, her eyes filled with tears. She kissed Rusty and then pulled her sister into an embrace that captured almost two decades worth of unspoken emotion.

Reva held her sister at arms length and looked into her eyes and whispered, "I wish Mama was here to see this. You look amazin'." The sisters held onto each other again and cried until there were no more tears.

"We have some catching up to do," Reva told Hawk and Rusty as she took Roxy by the hand and led her into the kitchen.


	5. Chapter 5

"This was all so long ago," Roxy whispered quietly as she flipped through her old scrapbook. Reva and Roxy had spent the last two hours reminiscing about their relationships and friendships. She lingered over a picture of Kurt Corday, who had been killed in an oil rig explosion twenty years ago. "I will never forget you," she said as she turned the page of the scrapbook. It was Kurt who was responsible for her meeting the love of her life. Johnny and Kurt were old friends, and tears welled up in her eyes as she gazed at a picture of Johnny. "Oh, how I miss you. I'm so sorry my love. I hope you have found happiness."

Reva watched the emotions dance on her sister's face and she suddenly felt angry. Angry at the hurt that Roxy had suffered and angry at the illness that had kept them apart all these years. And now that the two sisters were finally together again, fate was threatening to tear them apart once more.

"I can't tell her," Reva thought to herself. "She wanted to take care of Johnny and it scarred her so badly. I can't let that happen again."

As if reading her thoughts, Roxy looked at the sister she loved so dearly. Through tears, she said "Reva. I know. We're going to fight this together. I'm not going to lose you again."

Reva hugged her sister and said, "I didn't want anyone to know. I don't want to be a burden to those I love." Roxy held onto her and let her cry. She knew that her family was not going to be taken from her again.

As the women talked, Rusty left Hawk in the living room and drove off down the road.


	6. Chapter 6

Rusty sat down on the ground by Rose's grave and allowed all the emotion that was built up inside him to be released. He had tried so many times to move on, but he had never been able to shake the guilt he felt. He sat there for a while before having the courage to walk away. He knew he needed to get on with his life and that Rose would have wanted him to be happy. But he didn't know how to begin a real life without her.

As Rusty was leaving the cemetery, Roxy and Reva headed to the airport, where Cassie was coming in from San Cristobel. "You're going to love each other honey," Reva told her of the sister she had never met.

While they waited in the concourse, Roxy felt a strange sensation wash over her. The feeling of déjà vu was so strong that she needed to sit down. "Honey, what is it?" Reva asked with concern.

"I don't know. I feel like I've been here before," she said as the passengers and crew from the arriving flight walked through the concourse. As they scanned the faces for Cassie, a familiar figure walked into their line of view.

"Johnny," Roxy whispered.


	7. Chapter 7

Johnny Bauer was chatting amicably with one of the crew members. He was in the middle of the conversation when a wave of familiarity came over him. He shook it off, figuring that it was just a combination of tiredness and being back in Springfield for the first time in years. Since making the decision to fly again, he had somehow managed to avoid the town he had once called home. But a last minute change in plans had brought him back to a place that was filled with bittersweet memories. And although his flight had landed hours ago, he didn't have the desire to leave the airport. "I need a cup of coffee," he told his buddy and headed to the food court, alone with his thoughts.

When the flight had touched down this morning he was overcome with a sadness he hadn't felt in years. Leaving Roxy's side was the hardest thing he had ever done. He believed with his whole heart that she would return to her old self some day, but eventually her doctors had told him that she would never get better.

So he went back to piloting. Being in the air was freeing and he liked having the ability to visit places he had never been to before. He was doing alone what he had once hoped to do with the woman he loved. He wanted to experience the world with her, and she had been taken from him in a terrible twist of fate. She had stayed by his side, taking care of him when he was too sick to take care of himself. She nursed him back to health and then when his cancer was finally in remission, she was the one who needed care. When she was first diagnosed, he remained in Springfield but realized that he needed to be with her. So he went to her side and remained there for a long time.

Lost in his own thoughts, he didn't realize that she stood just yards away from him.


	8. Chapter 8

"Roxy, he hasn't been here in years. You were just seeing things sweetie," Reva tried to console her sister.

Realizing that Reva was probably right, she sat back down in the chair and allowed herself to have a brief moment of self-pity. The day she left the institution in Tulsa, she had promised herself that she would always remain strong and not let her emotions overtake her. But now, she just needed a moment to wallow in all that could have been. After a minute she composed herself and looked up just in time to see a pretty blonde headed their way.

Reva introduced Cassie to her half-sister and within five minutes, they were already close friends. They began to walk toward the exit when Cassie decided she needed a bite to eat after her long flight and the group made their way to the airport food court.

Finished with his coffee, Johnny decided that the time was right to venture out into the city. He hadn't stayed in touch with his family but he knew he had a couple hours to kill. He figured that a small trip around town might do him good. He was looking forward to getting back in the air and heading back to Tulsa. The boxes at his house had all been packed and the movers were scheduled to be there first thing in the morning. He was anxious to wrap things up. He had stayed in Tulsa for too long and he knew that the move would do him good. He still had no idea where he was going to go, but the money he had saved from giving flying lessons would tide him over for a while until he found a new home.

He got up from his chair and threw his coffee cup away just as Cassie sauntered up to the counter and ordered a sandwich. They glanced quickly at each other before going their separate ways.


	9. Chapter 9

Hawk and Rusty were waiting at Company when the sisters came in. Rusty had made a couple phone calls and he knew that the reunion that was about to take place would be an emotional one. Josh and Reva had spent a lot of time apart lately and although he knew she would be angry with him for interfering he knew that it had to be done.

Rusty glanced up and saw a familiar looking woman standing at the counter. He couldn't place where he knew her from and just as he was about to strike up a conversation, Josh and Billy walked through the door. When Billy's eyes met Roxy's he let out a yell and rushed to her. Scooping her up in his arms he let himself think back to the days when she worked for him at Lewis Oil. Josh pulled her from Billy's grasp and hugged her tight before glancing at his wife.

The happiness of the reunion was cut short by the obvious tension between Reva and Josh. Exchanging looks, Hawk, Rusty, Billy, and Cassie walked away leaving Reva alone with Josh and Roxy. With pleading eyes, Roxy looked up at her sister and silently willed her to talk to Josh. When she was satisfied that her sister would tell her husband the truth about her illness, Roxy walked over and sat down at an empty table.

While Rusty walked up to the counter and struck up a conversation with the woman who seemed to be haunting his thoughts, Hawk, Billy, and Cassie sat together and talked about Reva's illness. They collectively hoped that she was finally coming clean with Josh. At a nearby table, Roxy pulled the scrapbook she had been perusing out of her bag. Alone with her thoughts, she relived every moment in the album.


	10. Chapter 10

"Where do I know you from," Rusty inquired of the striking woman.

"You were staring at me all morning on our flight from Tulsa," she answered. Finally able to place his mystery woman, Rusty asked if she lived in Springfield or Tulsa, or somewhere in between.

The woman gave a sad laugh and shared with him that she had taken the flight to Springfield so she could finally visit the grave of her sister who had been killed years before. As she relayed the story of her sister's life and untimely death, Rusty realized that her sister was his deceased wife, Rose. Unaware that she had any family, Rusty listened to her share stories of their childhood and their teenage years. Finally, he asked her why he didn't know about her. The obvious pain the woman was feeling made his heart ache. She told him how Rose had been a mess when she ran away, and that it wasn't until recently that she knew what had become of her.

The woman looked at him and realized how much he had loved her sister. "I came here afraid of what I was going to find," she told him. "Instead, I know that my sister was loved when she died. She was taken from us too soon, but I know that she was loved." She got up from her seat, touched his cheek with her hand and turned around and walked out the door.

Reeling from the discovery that he had a sister-in-law he didn't know about he was suddenly overcome with a sense of relief that he hadn't felt in years. He finally felt that he would be able to let go.

As the jukebox played in the background, a cab pulled up outside. Rusty made his way to the table where Roxy was sitting. Still looking through the scrapbook, Rusty smiled at her. She closed the book and looked over to see Josh and Reva crying and talking. Satisfied that everything was going to be okay with her sister, she put the book in her bag and got up from her chair.

She kissed Rusty and told him that she was going for a walk. She headed toward the door and as she walked out into the cool dark night, her heel caught in a crack in the sidewalk. As she felt herself stumbling to the ground, a hand reached out and caught her. Tears formed on her lashes when she found herself staring into the eyes of the man she loved more than life itself.


	11. Chapter 11

(Six months later)

As the last box was unpacked, Roxy flopped down onto the couch next to Johnny. They had spent eighteen years apart because she wasn't well enough to remember him. But all that was in the past. They knew that their love had stood the test of time. They had married immediately upon returning to Tulsa, and packed everything up to return to Springfield. After a honeymoon to Italy where Roxy was finally able to say goodbye to her mama, they were finally home.

The kitten that Hawk had given them the previous day jumped onto the couch next to them. Johnny looked at his wife and asked, "What should we name her?"

Smiling, Roxy answered him. "Hope."


End file.
